Big data, small data, in between data. We’re all talking about how to sift through the endless torrent of bits and bytes and come away with something valuable. Of course, I’ve finished an algorithm to interpret all this because well, everyone just has to have an algorithm these days. Don’t have yours yet? You really should get cracking. Funny enough, the upshot of my big data crunch is that my small life doesn’t merit such a grand data plan. Truth is that you can find me in the same places, doing the same stuff, thinking the same thoughts, stressing about the same things. And you, floating in your river of data. Honestly, I’m tired of watching you in this endless documentary where you quantify and qualify all day and night. Go home already and profess your love to someone or something.